If you are a “thrill seeker” or the adventurous type you may have experienced firsthand the excitement of whitewater rafting, but for the rest of us, we have experienced it by watching others.

Regardless of whether we have experienced whitewater rafting firsthand or had the privilege of watching others, you will quickly realized a few important skills are necessary to navigate through the treacherous terrain and turbulence waters the rafters may face on their journey.  Communication and teamwork are crucial to the rafters’ success.

Normally, when the rafters start out on their journey the water is relatively calm; therefore; communication and teamwork are not very important. The rafters are just going with the “flow” of the current.

The same thing occurs in marriage!!

When a couple starts out in marriage, they are just “riding the wave of love”. They are experiencing wedding bliss. They say to each other, “This great!! It can’t get any better than this!!”

They are caught up and enjoying the moment. They are not concern about developing survival skills; they are just going with the flow.

However; they don’t realize, just like with the rafters, just around the corner is their first obstacle.

Sometimes in whitewater rafting the trip brings the rafters to a point where two streams of water come together.  At the point where the streams come together there is “whitewater” and turbulence. The rafters have little or no time to develop a strategy, communication and teamwork is of utmost importance at this point, because things are happening very fast.

In marriage, soon after the honeymoon, the newlyweds may face their first obstacle as well. They soon realize that this other person they married is not perfect. They have their first disagreement. It may be something major like the financial challenges resulting from their wedding, issues with the in-laws, or an unexpected pregnancy. Or something minor such as how to place the toilet tissue on the roll, how to squeeze the toothpaste, or how to fold the towels.

When the rafters enter the turbulent whitewater, they recognize their success and survival is based on their ability to communicate and work as a team. If they are effective in communicating and teamwork they will be able to keep the raft upright and all the rafters on board. If not, someone or everyone may get toss overboard.

When the couple face their first obstacle, if they are effective in keeping the lines of communication open and work as a team, they can get through this obstacle and move further in their journey together as a couple. However; if they are not able to reach a workable solution, someone may be “toss” overboard through divorce or separation.

Research indicates that approximately 25% of marriage interruptions occur before the 3^rd anniversary. Also, research indicates that 32% of couples who divorce or separate do so by the 4^th year of marriage.

In marriage, like in rafting, you will face whitewater and turbulent circumstances. If the couple is effective in communication and teamwork, they have a great chance of successfully navigating through the “whitewater” situations of life and continuing their journey together with everyone on board. The couple must realize that the situation they are going through is temporary, and if they hang in there and work together, they will get through it.   

In marriage, just like in whitewater rafting, the further you go down stream the calmer the waters will get. In other words, couples will learn to pick their battles. Also, they will soon realize what things will change in the marriage and those that will not, and they must make the adjustments.

However; in marriage, just like whitewater rafting, there will be other obstacles to face just around the next turn. Therefore; keep the lines of communication open, work together as a team, and your journey to “marriage rhythm” will be a success.   

Please provide me your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send me an email or post a comment.

Also, refer this site to other men you know, so we all can journey together!! 

For the ladies, Sylvia has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

For the men, Randy has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of men. The site is called, www.thedashguy.com. 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

Randy & Sylvia Clark

randy_sylvia@marriagerhythm.com

www.marriagerhythm.com

Yes, I hear you saying, “What does the Beijing Olympics have to do with relationships?”  Better yet, “How in the world can the Olympics help my relationship?”

You asked such great questions. And I am glad you asked!!

As I watched the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony, I saw something that was truly an amazing demonstration of commitment and teamwork. I think we can agree these are two key ingredients necessary in order to develop and maintain of a good relationship?

So, what did I see during the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics that was so spectacular?

It was the performance of the 2008 drummers who played an ancient Chinese percussion instrument called a Fou.  The Fou instruments would light up as the drummers beat on them.

The amazing aspect of their performance was not that the Fou would light up, but the exact precision by which they unified their efforts, to perform a countdown to the start of the Olympics and to spell out a special welcome message to the guests in the audience and the millions of viewers throughout the world. Their performance was so amazing that I thought the performance was a computer generated laser light show, until I saw that it was done my human effort. WOW!!

Later as I reflected on this performance, I thought about the sacrifice and commitment each member of this team had to make to the overall performance of the team. Each drummer had to submit their individual wills to the collective goal and will of the team; which was to perform well as a team.

Just think what would have happened if any one member of the team would have said, “I do not like my role in this routine, I want to play my Fou more often than what has been assigned to me.”   Sounds familiar?

If that would have happened, the performance of the whole 2008 member team would have been destroyed, all because one person wanted to be a “star”.

You are probably saying by now, “How does this relate to my relationships?”

How often do dating relationships and marriages end, because someone wants their individual way more than they want what is best for them as a couple?  They decide my personal well-being is more important than the well-being of our relationship as a couple. Now, I am not suggesting staying in an abusive or unhealthy relationship; that is a different topic for another article.

Just think what could be accomplished through our relationships, if we made the sacrifice and commitment knowing that we can do much more together than individually.  Just think about the impact we could have on our children and those around us when we work together, instead of engaging in a “tug-a-war” for power in the relationship.

Just like the drummers performance was truly amazing when each drummer submitted their individual wills to the collective goal and will of the team; our relationships and marriages can have the same or greater impact on those around us.

If we will submit our individuals wills and make a commitment to our dating relationship or marriage first, we are well on our way to maintaining the “rhythm” in our relationship we all desire!!

Please provide us your comments on this topic. If you have additional topics you would like to see us discuss, please send us an email or post a comment.

Also, refer this site to other couples you know, so we all can journey together!! 

For the ladies, Sylvia has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of women. The site is called, www.thedashlady.com. 

For the men, Randy has a personal development site focused specifically on the needs and concerns of men. The site is called, http://www.thedashguy.com/. 

Please visit these sites and leave us a comment about the current posts. 

Again, thanks for visiting this site.   

Randy & Sylvia Clark

randy_sylvia@marriagerhythm.com

www.marriagerhythm.com

This site is about helping couples achieve success and happiness in their relationship by growing together through personal development. Personal development is a vital component that keeps couples connected to their “marriage rhythm.”   You KNOW!! The rhythm that your heart felt when you first fell in love. Too often however, that rhythm gets lost  and causes us to grow apart in our relationships. 

Our goal is to help couples grow together nurturing their “marriage rhythm” and achieve their dreams by believing their dreams are possible!! If you are looking for success and happiness in your relationship by growing together with your mate and achieving your dreams, you are in the right place. We encourage you to come grow with us and bring other couples that are seeking to enhance their “marriage rhythm” by growing together.

We welcome your input and suggestions to help you get the most from the resouces and support that you will receive each time you visits here.   Let us help create success and happiness in your relationship!! Tell us what you want and we will provide what you need!!

Randy and Sylvia Clark

Success and Relationship Coaches